Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date.

Quick preface: This probably doesn’t need to be said, but there is honestly no one I’d rather go on a date with more than my lovely wife, Sarah. We couldn’t be happier and she is, hands down, my best friend. So I’m going to take you in a time warp back 3 years ago and answer this question as though I hadn’t yet met Sarah, so that I can answer the prompt in an honest but interesting way.

If I could choose to be taken out on a date by any celebrity and/or famous person it would decidedly be Lauren Graham. For those unfamiliar with her, she played Lorelai on Gilmore Girls and currently plays Sarah Braverman on NBC’s Parenthood. While I recognize that she is not likely the go dream date for the average 29 year-old-guy, there are several of reasons I why Lauren would be the ideal famous person to enjoy a date with. This is of course, based almost solely on my observations of her as an actress given that I’m fairly certain the only time I’ve ever seen her not acting was an interview she did on Ellen years ago. But using context clues I feel as though I have a pretty reasonable assessment of the woman who is Lauren Graham.

Lauren seems like someone I would love to have a conversation with over dinner. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in English from Barnard College/Columbia University* and a Masters of Acting from Southern Methodist University. In addition to being a fellow English grad, it is apparent that she is well read given her frequent literary and historical allusions dropped as Lorelai throughout the Gilmore Girl series (which I admit to having watched all of publicly, and almost entirely because of her character). I remember being particularly impressed and smitten when she dropped a quick line referencing Sun Tzu’s The Art of War somewhere in the 3rd season. I understand that Lorelai is a fictitious character and Lauren is simply reciting lines that are written for her, but I can’t help but suspect that there is a great deal of Lauren in the character of Loerlai. That her character was constantly given lines referencing literature leads me to believe the writers were acknowledging Lauren’s intellect by writing her likeness into Laurelai. In addition to her being an English major, both Laurelai and her current character, Sarah Braverman have fallen for their daughter’s lit teachers. Which leads me to believe not only is she someone who could sit and chat about history and literature, but also is into guys who can do likewise. Incidentally, the character that Sarah Braverman had a thing for was born the same year as I was (this was mentioned on the show), and so I can only be left to assume that the age difference wouldn’t be a deal breaker for her either.

In addition to her intellect, her wit, or at least the wit of every character I have seen her play, is incredible. Both Laurelai and Sarah have the ability for rapid fire banter that is nothing short of endearing. Lauren’s characters are playful, charismatic, self-deprecating, and comically melodramatic without being obnoxious. The character of Laurelai was at her best when she was casually exchanging quips with her long time beau, Luke, her mother, and her daughter, Rory. The two characters are also similar in that they are both single mothers who have a strength of survival in them, but neither seems so demoralized by their previous relationships that they are relationally inept. In fact, the character had a rather large heart and seemed to be a perfectly pleasant girl to have a relationship with. I remember he being particularly endearing when she sang a karaoke version of I Will Always Love You as Luke entered the bar. I have no idea how much of this is true of Lauren, but I am quite certain that you cannot fake effectively fake charisma; and it would be nearly impossible to banter with the speed and timing of her characters if she was not somewhat familiar with that behavior in real life. I am left to deduce that a date night with Lauren Graham would likely be full of storytelling, informed discussion, and comedic rapport.

The other thing I really like about Lauren is that she manages to be beautiful without coming across and painstakingly dull. I think of some of the more beautiful celebrities out there and so many of them appear to have the personality of a small stone. A coworker and I were speaking about January Jones the other day. She expressed her infatuation with January, whereas I expressed to her that my opinion of January is lackluster at best. While I admit she is very aesthetically pleasing, Sarah and I agreed listening to her guest commentary on DVDs of prior seasons of Mad Men that we have zero interest in ever attempting a conversation with her. Likewise for Megan Fox, Anne Hathaway, Kristen Stewart, and Scarlett Johansson. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe that beauty fundamentally equates to lifelessness. I am friends with several handsome and lovely people who I enjoy spending time with, my wife being at the top of the list. And there are plenty of beautiful people in Hollywood who seem perfectly interesting; Emma Stone, for example, or Alexis Bledel. But ultimately, no other celebrity quite matches the intellect, life experience, wit, charm, and class of Lauren Graham. It is the combination of those attributes that has her in a class of her own. Now, if only she would acquire some better management that would get her in some movies worth watching (unlike Bad Santa and Birds of America), perhaps we could talk about her filmography without me having to awkwardly hide my disapproval and disappointment.

*Not entirely sure what college/university means, but I’m relatively certain at this point in her life either school would be happy to claim her.